Originally I was going to name this post: “Why My Kids are More Important Than You.” But, I’m not a blunt person. That’s a blunt statement. While it may be true, it’s just not my writing style. Regardless how many extra blog views I would have received. This isn’t a knock down of parents who enjoy “me” time. Believe me, I enjoy “me” time, too. This is more of an explanation. An explanation to those who just don’t “get it.”
Before I was a parent, I just didn’t get kids. Why did they always want to touch me? Why did they always talk to me? Was it because I was as short as them? Did they think I was a kid, too?! Regardless, they freaked me out a little. As a parent, that’s a hard thing to admit. As parents were expected to meet some pretty hefty “standards.”
In all honesty, I’m over those imaginary “standards.” I like to consider myself an “adaptive parent.” My parenting skills adapt to my mood. One week I feel like supermom. I’m cooking healthy, vegan meals for the whole family before 5 pm. Let’s invite the neighbors over to eat, too. I made enough to feed an army! The next day I’m praying the kids won’t speak to me. Praying the pizza guy can still deliver still. Because, of course, it’s so late now I’m too tired to cook. Where’s a beer?
I’m not perfect. I have a lot of flaws. I’m not afraid to admit to them. I’m an open book. Your kid screaming in WalMart because you can’t buy him that $200 Power Wheels? I’m not looking. I’m not judging. Kids are unpredictable. Don’t be embarrassed, mama. It’s life. Kids love to try us at the most unexpected moments. Kids also love to make our hormones go into a rage. Especially when we think about our butterballs growing up.
Five seconds ago you were praying they’d fall asleep. Now you’re curled up in bed. You’re bawling like a little baby. Because, well, you just realized something. They aren’t going to want to be around you forever. One day you may feel like them. Awake, in a dark room, staring at a ceiling. Feeling lonely because the one person you want by your side won’t be there. Yep, that sucks, doesn’t it?
My kids are my little sidekicks. I’m with them almost every day. We do everything together. But, I’m human, I need a break sometimes, too. My two kids are awesome little individuals. But, they’re 4 1/2 and 8 months old. You can only answer a 4 year old’s 400+ questions a day so much before you feel a bit insane. You can only give undivided time so much before you’re questioning your whole life.
I’m all for “me” time. How can you care for someone else if you can’t care for yourself? How can you properly be involved if you’re only emotions are either: stressed, mad, hungry, and confused. You need time to recharge.
I’ve always enjoyed working. Plus, who doesn’t like making money? I enjoy going out with friends. Bonding time is always a good time. But, I also have to make sure my kids needs come first. Not because I’m one of those cliche people. When you have kids, well, you have a responsibility. You have to make sure they’re cared for. Because, let’s be real, if you don’t, you’ll go to jail. I don’t know about you but, I don’t think I’d do well in jail.
As parents we have that harsh reality. You will get reported for anything. They will handcuff for you these things. You could possibly lose your children over these things. Think people are worried about your parenting skills now? Imagine their opinions if you’re in handcuffs.
I want my little monsters to turn into valuable people. I want people to look up to them. I want them to be independent. So, of course I believe in teaching them lessons. But, as children, they need someone to teach them how to be that person. They don’t just come in the world with a brain filled will pre-knowledge. You once couldn’t use a fork. Someone taught you how. We have to teach them. They’ll get hurt in the process. You’ll cry during the process. But, it’s life. It happens.
I’m not being rude when I say my kids are more important than you. Although that may be a rude way to express it. I’m not saying that I have them wrapped in bubble wrap trapped in my closet. Although some days that may seem like a good idea. I’m saying that I have a promise to uphold. A promise to teach them. A promise to care for them. A promise to make sure they are protected.
So, to all the people I’m sure I’ve insulted. The people I’ve blown off for my kids. Here’s my explanation. My explanation why my kids are, well, more important than you.
Why My Kids Are More Important Than You
My past + possible future bosses: We all know this scenario. You have to work. You just called out last week because your daughter decided that catching the flu would be a good idea. You know, a better idea than sitting in front of a desk for 10 hours. Then, BAM, out of nowhere.. she decides to bust her front lip open. You told her those shoes were too big. You told her to stop running. But, what do you know?! You’ve only been on this earth 20+ more years than her.
Now, you’re already late. She’s crying. It’s pouring blood. She needs to go to the ER. You’re going to get fired. All these thoughts run through your head. So, what do you do? If you take her to school, daycare, or whatever in this condition they’ll call the authorities. So, you do what you have to. You call your boss. You take her to the ER.
Not everyone is lucky enough to have that family backup member. We’re all just struggling to get by.
I’m sorry I have to take a few hours off to register them for school. I’m sorry registration is at a certain time. But, if they don’t go to school, I go to jail. Sure, I could ask them to reschedule registration for everyone just for me. I don’t see that going well, though.
This scenario could go one of two ways. Your boss could be understanding. They could tell you to take care of your daughter. That work can wait. Or they could talk about you behind your back. Talk about how you’re a liar because of all your “bad luck.” They could fire you. They could throw everything up under the sun you’ve done in the past 6 months.
What if your boss isn’t so understanding? Well, a few things could happen.
Listen up all the “be here or be dead” bosses out there. If we don’t take care of our kids, this is what could happen.
Can’t pick up your child because your boss will fire you? You may look good in orange. You not showing up to pick up your sick or injured kid isn’t a good look. It also doesn’t look good to the authorities. So, bosses, before you threaten your employees, or fire them, for caring for their kids, think about this. If the authorities are called your employee is going to need more time off. Because, getting out of jail isn’t an “instant” thing. Even if they don’t go to jail, if authorities are contacted, missed time could still happen. Because, then your employee may have to go to court or other legal type meetings.
Believe it, most of us would rather be at work than at the doctor with a screaming child. We don’t enjoy seeing our kids sick. That’s just what happens. They get sick. They’re little people. We don’t look good in orange!
The best case scenario would be that nothing happens. But, I don’t see many people too happy about a sick child whose health may be neglected.
To my past, present, + future friends: I really want to go to the movies with you. Believe me, I NEED that drink you want to go get. But, things happen. Kids get sick. Baby sitters, day cares, and schools don’t want or need sick kids. Because, well, then they end up with 50 sick kids. Have you ever hung out with a sick kid? It’s not fun. I promise I’d rather be at the movies with you.